“I must look approachable…was asked by a dad at Target if he picked the right feminine products for his young daughter. He did.”
Wait, no he didn’t!! You steered him wrong! Not tampons, you idiot, pads. With belts. Thick, thick pads that make a girl feel like she’s wearing a diaper. Huge pads are the way to go. The kind of pads that make wearing your skinny jeans impossible. The kind of pad that makes wearing a short skirt seem scandalous and obscene.
What a sad pick-up line. “Hey, you look like a lady who’s enjoyed a robust estrous cycle or two. Would you wear this tampon? You would? I have a young daughter and she needs some tampons… I became a dad when I was really young. Didn’t work out with the mother. Now I’ve got a teen and I’m still in my prime. Would you like to go to dinner sometime? Do you enjoy Steak-And-Ale?”