Archive for June, 2010

Annoying Tweet Of The Day – June 30

June 30, 2010

“There is absolutely nothing that one learns in failure that one can not also learn in success. I choose to learn from my successes.”

It just so happens that you caught me in a bad mood.

So.

1. Fuck off

2. This makes absolutely no sense. You are human, therefore you will experience failure. What do you gain by ignoring it or pretending it never happened? Are you so successful at everything that you will have more than enough material to “learn” from all of them? And what do you learn from a success? I’m awesome? There seems to be one thing one learns from failure that you don’t seem to be learning in success: humility. And how to fail with dignity.

3. Fuck off all over again.

 

I Have Choosen You

Dear Beloved [Person I Have Never Met Before],

I am sure this mail would be coming to you as a surprise since we have never met before and you would also be asking why I have decided to chose you amongst the numerous internet users in the world [all of whom I have also sent this message], precisely I cannot say why I have choosen you [I choosen anyone who is stupid enough to fall for this] but do not be worried for I come in peace [yes, I am an alien] and want you to me to help me accomplish my last wish . As the island of Haiti experience a major earthquake struck, I will like to use this last chance to help as a philanthropist .

Before I move further, permit me to give you a little of my biography, I am Lady Rita Ratnavale [you can call me Lady Marmalade] 78 Years old woman and the wife of Sir Ratnavale, Victor, [you can call him Dead Guy] dual citizen of Switzerland and Britain [and Citizen of The World]  who died in a Plane crash on Monday the 7th of September 1998 GMT 14:22 UK [my watch stopped at exactly that moment] alongside with my daughter [she had no name, we never got around to it] while they were flying from New York to Geneva [after completing a shopping spree at FAO Schwartz]. Please see site [that I developed while sitting in an Internet cafe] below for more information. http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9809/swissair.victims.list/index.html

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I’m A Drummer! Reliving Hysteria Part III

logo_def_leppardThe work week before the big holiday weekend grinds slowly by… tick… tock. The clock, it hardly moves! Let’s take a break and get caught up on the trials and tribulations of Def Leppard. If you haven’t seen episodes one and two, let me catch you up. These guys lived in Sheffield, they formed a band, one guy got pissed and left, they made an album, played shows, got some sort of agent. But the dark cloud of trouble hangs over them…

We know it’s only a matter of time before someone mismanages funds, the record companies screw them, women leave them, they leave women, someone drinks themself to death, someone OD’s, someone punches someone else in the mouth, someone gets caught not paying taxes, someone shoots someone with an antique gun that wasn’t supposed to be loaded or someone sleeps with a minor…

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Choice Video of the Week: Average Homeboy

June 29, 2010

 

I’m A Drummer! Reliving Hysteria Part II

logo_def_leppardIn today’s episode, the drama is already ramping up with the usual “Rise of the Supergroup” problems.

First, I’d like to mention something. I really do love Def Leppard. I mean that un-ironically. I know since I’m a member of Generation X, that might be hard to believe but I listened to them a lot in high school and I used to try to draw the Hysteria cover art. I guess that makes me kind of like Joe Elliot, drawing his Def Leppard logo and artwork before he was even in the band, huh?

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Surrender The Sparrow #4: Overflow

June 28, 2010

tree-sparrow 175Surrender The Sparrow is an on-going fiction story. Click here to read the previous installment. Click here to read #1.

Overflow

It was later that evening, after spending the day with her mother, that Rachel was seized by the desire to be a better person. To be a more organized person. Successful in her endeavors. To no longer be content to be a woman with a job in public relations for a software firm whose product she didn’t understand and couldn’t use. To no longer be a woman who responded to her husband’s infidelity by allowing a summer sojourn to Brussels to write a novel.

To no longer be content to eat M&Ms while being lulled into a dreamlike state by reality shows about out-of-control brides, out-of-control dogs and out-of-control children.

She would embark on a Campaign of Self-Improvement.

*****

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Annoying Tweet Of The Day – June 28

“Cellphone coverage got pretty ridiculous at the cabin. My wife’s T-Mobile phone had AT&T roaming. My iPhone had ‘No Service’”

Can you imagine? OMFG! We were at the cabin, relaxing, getting away from it all… Do you have a cabin? Oh, you don’t? You had to, like, stay in the city this weekend? Oh.

Well, anyway, there we were, relaxing, taking a break from swimming, reading novels, identifying mushrooms, etc., when I realized that OUR CELL PHONE COVERAGE WAS CRAP! Completely ridiculous! What if someone was trying to call? What if we had an emergency? I couldn’t even tweet about having fun at the cabin.

I mean, roaming? That’s so 2007. And iPhones… for what I pay for service? It should be a cell phone to God!

Then I was completely unrelaxed, checking my phone every 5 minutes to see if service had been restored. It. Had. Not.

 

I’m A Drummer! Reliving Hysteria

logo_def_leppardOne of the best TV movies Keith and I ever watched aired in 2001 on VH1 – Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story. Oh the ups and the downs! The tragedy and the triumphs! It turns out that you can rent the movie through Netflix but, maybe even better, you can watch it for free on YouTube in several installments.

This makes Hysteria seem like a fun webseries of 10-minutes episodes, which is maybe all you can take at one time. The story revolves around drummer Rick Allen’s accident, in 1984, that cost him his arm. Of course, Rick Allen and Def went on to triumph after that, which is what made this movie possible. If it had been Rick Allen lost his arm and became an angry, bitter man on top of Steve Clark dying of alcoholism, this movie couldn’t have been made. Well, it could have been made, maybe by Oliver Stone.

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Funny WebComic Shiz: Gentleman’s Gentleman

June 25, 2010

Gent 2Another Fun & Exciting Summer item: the webcomic Gentleman’s Gentleman. The most recent lesson is about drinking games. The aim of Gentleman’s Gentleman is simple: to bring the light of gentlemanly manners to an uncouth, faintly scuzzy world. You may recall my post about the rules of being a gentleman’s gentleman… oh, you don’t? Well, you can read it here.

Yes, the artist/cartoonist is my ball and chain, Keith Pille. Ball and chain! Ha ha ha! I just made that up.

My top Gentleman’s Gentlemen (this week):

1. Tim Gunn
2. Dominic Dunn
3. George Clooney
4. Tony Bennett
5. Paul Newman

Check out the comic, bookmark it, learn the lessons, LIVE IT!

 

Hey, Here’s Summer Stuff

June 24, 2010

freja in waterIt’s summer and there are suddenly some new things to be excited about… As the group of bums standing around outside Hums Liquor yelled at me today, “It’s time to hit the beach!” Yeah, totally! I thought to myself, “What if I took them up on their offer, went to some beach with them and never even called work to say I wouldn’t be returning?” What if? This seems to be what life is all about, people.

First and number one, there’s this. I’m so excited for Season 4 I find myself dreaming about it sometimes. When I’m not dreaming that I can’t find a house I’m looking for because the address on the piece of paper I’m holding keeps changing. That’s a fun one.

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