Archive for December, 2009
The Villages: Disney World For The Retired?
December 29, 2009
Fifty-five miles north of Orlando is a “mature adult” alternative to Disney World called The Villages. It’s a retirement community that bills itself as Florida’s “friendliest retirement hometown.” My parents bought a home there in 2007 and spent their first winter there in 2008.
Whenever I try to describe The Villages to people (the travel by golf cart, the homes that all look pretty much alike, the pods of villages with Spanish-sounding names) they have one of two reactions. One is, “Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun,” and the other is, “That sounds weird.”
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Happy Holidays From The Snowball Children!
December 19, 2009Just one day after my post about Ziggy, this was the Ziggy strip that ran…
Actually, I think I will be a little sad if Ziggy has to wear pants all the time now. I’d like to see him rock some jeans once in awhile but I think if he’s just at home, hanging out with his dog, cat and bird, it’s OK for him to have on just a tunic. Or maybe some boxers would be nice.
The Year of The Ziggy
December 17, 2009
Joy To The World... Without Pants!
Mark my words: 2010 is going to see the revival of Ziggy. Hipsters everywhere are going to begin donning Ziggy t-shirts, mailing each other Ziggy cards, drinking lattes from Ziggy mugs. It’s enough to make me want to run out and start raiding the thrift stores right now!
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“This sandwich loaf will be the talk of the party. Lots can be said about the delicious shrimp, olive and ham fillings!”
Loaf is served!
The above quote is from the Betty Crocker website, which features this Party Sandwich Loaf. It sounds as if they’re dissing their own retro recipe. Lots can be said? Lots of horrible things, is what they mean. Like, what misanthrope brings something stuffed with deviled ham salad to a party? I imagine someone standing over the buffet table and saying, “Who brought this?” in an accusatory tone.
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Celebrate Life Day with Chewie, Lumpy and the Gang
December 16, 2009
Tonight is the Third Annual Toys For Tots Screening of the Star Wars Holiday Special (from 1978), brought to you by the MN Film & TV Board, at Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis. There will be a short intro by Transylvania TV (“the retro monster comedy that’s really not for kids”), complete with some trivia questions, Marines collecting unwrapped toys for Toys For Tots and photo ops with a Storm Trooper, Rebel Pilot and Princess Leia from the Rebel Legion. Clint Lugert of THEY Design designed a kickass poster for the event and it will be for sale for $15.
Best of all, you can order up some drinks in the theater and not have to watch this thing sober. I’ve seen the entire special once and that might have been enough for me. I’m going to be there but more for enjoying holiday drinks with friends in the bar than watching the special, although I may sneak in for the part with Bea Arthur. I love Bea, her gangly stature, pessimism and deep voice – and she sings in the cantina for this! She’s my favorite Golden Girl, hands down. RIP, Bea.
Anyway, the theater at BLB is kinda tiny – I think it actually only seats 95 – so there is a chance that some people will not get in. But everyone can enjoy the Treebacca poster! It’s super rad. If you want to buy one online, visit the THEY Design poster store.
Get Yer Poster While Ya Can!
The Bad Boys of Christmas
December 15, 2009If jolly Santa Claus doesn’t do it for you, you may need to go Euro when it comes to finding some Christmas sexy.
Bachelor Number 1 – Krampus (aka Krotchus)
Age: 545
Occupation: badass
Hobbies: eating grass, terrifying children, hitting people with sticks
Mr. Krampus is often described as “goat-like” in appearance – long face, horns, fur – and has bad breath. His main paying gig takes place on December 5th each year when he roams rural areas (where he still has street cred) with chains and sticks threatening women and children. Krampus targets virgins, too, and makes sure that they get a “birching,” which consists of hitting them on the ass or back with a birch stick as punishment for… still being virgins (see Exhibit A). If the Krampus thinks your kid is a brat, he’ll load him up in a basket and take him to hell (or Spain, depending upon his mood). Most disturbing of all, Wikipedia refers to Krampus as an incubus which, if you don’t know, is a male demon who has sex with women while they sleep. Or sometimes while they are awake – I guess it depends on his mood.
Likes: virgins, birch trees, sex in the morning (noon and night are OK too), eating bad children
Dislikes: warmth, casserole, hot chocolate, puppies
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2009: The Random Recap
December 12, 2009You’re My Present This Year: Weird TV Commercials
December 9, 2009One of the most interesting things about the holiday season is all the strange commercials that start popping up on TV. You can usually count on some doozies from Lexus, Kay Jewelers and Folgers and this year is no exception. Here’s my take on the strangest commercials out there this year.
The number one slot for weird goes to the “Brother Homecoming” commercial for Folgers (an update on the classic “Peter Comes Home” commercial from years ago). The older brother knocks on the front door (weird already) and his sister answers it. Only you have no idea she’s his sister based on his reaction – he’s says, “Do I have the wrong house?” meaning, “You’re one sexy lady!” and she points to herself and says, “Sister! Ha ha ha.” What? I expected them to start making out. She says something like, “I waited up for you all night.” Huh? Really? And then he says, “It’s a long way from West Africa.” Notice he says West Africa, which is nice and vague and not at all threatening so people don’t become sad thinking about Darfur or upset thinking about Somali pirates.
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Little Edie T-Shirts On The Way
December 8, 2009
Some of you (five of you) may remember my design for a Little Edie Beale t-shirt. I’ve just ordered some! I’m only getting a small amount and right now I believe they will be for sale on etsy.com when they become available. They are white, crew neck shirts with the design on the front. About as simple a t-shirt as one can get and yet… so chic! Layer one over an oxford shirt or long-sleeved t-shirt for winter, add a cardigan or blazer and you’re good to go.
Confession: these are not American Apparel shirts. Horrors of horrors! I’m still really pissed about what they tried to do to Woody Allen, so I’m saying no to A.A. Actually, I just decided to go with a less expensive shirt that is still soft cotton but probably made by one-armed, 3-year-olds in a Romanian factory. Not that I’m trying to make light of that situation… sweat shops and all… OK, I’m a horrible person and you shouldn’t buy my shirt!! No, buy my shirt! It will be reasonably priced ($20 to $25), which is pretty good, right? I don’t know. I’ve seen $45 t-shirts on the Internet. I’ve seen $40 t-shirts at J. Crew. My sense of what’s reasonable for a t-shirt has been called into question.
T-shirts will be available at the end of December or early Jan. 2010. Very limited number so, if you want one, check this blog and RUSH to etsy the moment I post them. See what I’m doing? Creating a sense of scarcity. That’s called Marketing, people!
